Awkward Beginnings

When you first meet a person, your goal is to get them to:

1. like you;
2. trust you; and
3. want to listen to you.

If you are meeting in person, after a call to set up an
appointment, you must have built enough curiosity in what
you will do for them to get that far.

They obviously want to listen to you. However, their
curiosity will only take them so far. Once they've gotten
the basic idea of what the product or service you provide
will do for them, they'll need to like and trust you enough
to want to do business with you.

To help people to like you, you must be likable. That's
pretty simple. Develop the traits you admire in someone you
deem as being likable. Chances are someone you consider
likable is already somewhat like you, so this shouldn't be
too much of a stretch for you.

It's human nature to like people who are like us or who we
recognize as complementing our personality styles. People
tend to like others who smile, make eye contact, are
courteous, and are interested in them.

These traits make those with whom you come in contact feel
as though they are important to you. Making others feel
important is critical to establishing successful
relationships - both business and personal.

To begin building trust, establish common ground. If you're
a fan of the same sports team, if you have children the same
ages, or if you belong to the same community service
organization, they'll see how much you are like them.

Most people trust and want to do business with people who
are like themselves. Seek areas of common ground by asking
questions about their business or something in their local
area.

It won't hurt, if in conversation, you are able to tell them
about a situation with another client they may be familiar
with or where you demonstrated dependability. Be careful not
to sound like you're bragging.

Use the term "we" as in "we, the company" when relating
information about other clients or business situations. That
way, if they're even the least bit shaky on their opinion of
you, they'll build faith in the fact that the company stands
behind their promises.

If you're making a telephone contact, you won't be able to
see their office or home environment, so you must stay away
from personal topics until you get a cue from them that it's
something they'd want to talk about. Stick with industry
knowledge or local topics of interest at the beginning.

Look and listen for ideas of what's important to this
person. If you don't see or hear anything that you would
feel comfortable asking about, don't become anxious. You
don't want to create an awkward situation by looking like
you're struggling to come up with a subject.

In business situations, you can always ask about the
neighborhood or good local restaurants. If you visit with a
consumer at their home, mention the landscaping, the general
style of decor, or a painting hanging on the wall. Avoid the
weather unless there's some unusual weather phenomenon
occurring. It's just too trite.

Meeting someone in a neutral location, such as an elevator,
an office lobby, or in line at the grocery store can be
handled nicely with a sincere compliment about an article of
clothing, an item the person is carrying, or a simple
question.

A good starter question for other than the grocery store
could be, "What brings you to this building?" The more
prepared you are to handle first meetings, the more relaxed
you will be. And, the more relaxed you are, the fewer
awkward beginnings you'll encounter.