Manage Your Attitude and Advance in Life

Manage Your Attitude and Advance in Life

Many times one of the most important changes a person must
make in order to deal with life when stuff happens is a
change in attitude. How many of you have heard the comment,
"That person has an attitude problem"?

It's easy to recognize a good or bad attitude in other
people, but it's not so easy when it comes to judging
yourself. Judging your attitude is very important. If you
want to change your life, you must consider changing your
attitude.

Your attitude is the ultimate weapon in the battle for
strengthening relationships, gaining that competitive edge,
and getting back on track. To succeed in life and overcome
difficulties, you must learn how to use your best attitude
to influence other people in a positive way.

For example, when you interview for a job, you must
influence the interviewer in order to get that job. How does
one usually get the job? A major key is for the interviewer
to see that the applicant has a positive attitude. If the
position is available and you go in to the interview with a
positive attitude, you'll have a good chance of getting the
job and keeping it.

On the other hand, a bad attitude can earn you the
reputation as being hard to work with. This causes people to
avoid you as much as possible. Why? Because unpleasant
people are seldom surrounded by people who care. If you
don't realize this and make a change in your attitude, you
will be caught off guard when stuff happens and there will
be no one there to help.

How important is all this attitude stuff? Whether you are in
your own business, work for someone else, or just want to
develop and improve your personal life, you are only as
successful as your ability to create and maintain positive
human relationships.

The ability to manage your attitude is not only important to
people you work with, but it is also just as important to
your own self-development and personal advancement.

People with negative attitudes rarely advance in their jobs.
They think of themselves as being right and entitled to
success in spite of how they behave. They just can't
understand why, when stuff happens, others move forward
while they continue to stay behind.

They usually succumb to a "victim" mentality, blaming
others, events, or bad luck for their failure. They don't
realize that their own negative attitude caused the
situation.

On the other hand, a good attitude enables us to turn even
the most difficult situations into constructive stepping-
stones, helping us to handle the most demanding challenges.
A positive attitude enlivens, uplifts, and moves us to
pursue great things.

Be Willing and Able to Make it Happen

Be Willing and Able to Make it Happen

Daily Inspiration
By Dr. John H. Sklare
Wednesday, May 31, 2006



I believe that every one of you has the ability to succeed at healthy lifestyle change. I know you CAN succeed but I don’t know if you WILL. That depends on the actions that you take and the decisions that you make along the way. The key is to not wait for the perfect program, the magic pill or the ideal time. The key is to make it happen and make it happen NOW! The question is not “are you able?” The question is “are you willing?” So I ask you today: Are you willing to do the work and make it happen in order to create the healthy life you dream about?

I’ve spent my entire professional life helping people become less like those that WATCH things happen and more like those that MAKE things happen. So which one of these two types of personalities’ best describes you at this time? Will you continue to watch success come to others or are you WILLING to do what it takes to make it happen for you? Which reminds me of quote by Robert Frost who once wrote:

“The World is full of willing people;
Some Are Willing To Work
The Rest Are Willing To Let Them!”

It’s right there for the taking if you are willing to work and ready to make it happen!

Your Action Fuels Achievement

I was reading a magazine recently when something caught my
eye. The article mentioned that most people that exercised
regularly (and as a result tended to be in the best shape)
were those guys and gals that didn't so much plan out when
they would work out, but rather simply worked out regularly
without giving much thought to specifically when they would
make time to do so.

At first I thought to myself ... self, how on earth with
such busy lives that we lead do these folks ever find the
time to get their work outs in?

After a bit of pondering on this it became glaringly obvious
that by taking this approach they weren't allowing
themselves to fall victim to the part of us that over
analyzes things. You know the one I'm talking about.

The part of us that says I don't have time to work out --
I've got to get home in time to make dinner. I've got to
stay late at the office. I've got to (insert whatever you'd
like here). No, they simply acted on their initial impulse
to work out. To get that bit of exercise they felt they
needed.

Such a simple thought, to do that set of push ups or go for
that walk or run instead of going through all the trouble to
schedule it in.

I couldn't help but think, by how applying this same
approach to just about any of our goals we wouldn't find
ourselves getting more accomplished.

Consider how many lost goals and otherwise would be
achievements we experience simply because we wait around for
the right time to get started -- and in the process never
get the necessary action going to get started in the first
place.

Take a moment to really give the above statement some
thought...

Is there ever really a "perfect time" to set out in pursuit
of your goals? I mean really. Is a month from now, two
weeks, or a day from now going to be any better than right
now at this very moment. Probably not. That's just the way
things work.

Life is filled with any number of things that will shift and
change and inevitably occupy our limited time, if we don't
first take the initiative to fill it with those things we
want to implement in our lives.

Each of us is given the same number of hours in the day (24
-- last I checked). The same number of days in a week -- 7.
And days in a year ... 365 (unless it's a leap year).

Starting now get into the mind set that time -- or a lack
there of won't stop you from working towards achieving those
things that you want to see manifest in your life. Instead
of looking for the right time to get started, just get going
on them and allow yourself the wiggle room to move and adapt
to any change that might be necessary to get you to where
you want to be.

As the saying goes, "you don't have to get it right starting
out, you just have to get going".

Change is inevitable, and in some instances it is true that
we can't control every single thing that happens to us. Even
so there are active steps we can take that will help to
guide us in the direction of those things we desire. Simply
sitting still and idle is one sure way to keep yourself from
realizing your dreams.

Dream big and feed your dreams with the necessary amount of
action and as a result you are sure to attain your own
definition of success.

Keep this thought in mind: Even the best laid out goals are
simply dreams until you add the fuel of action that gets you
on the path towards achieving them.

Emotional Eating: Seduced by Pleasure

Emotional Eating: Seduced by Pleasure

Daily Inspiration
By Dr. John H. Sklare
Thursday, May 25, 2006


We are all so much more alike than we are different. When all is said and done, we all want the same basic things in life and struggle with similar issues as well. For example, let’s take emotional eating. So much of the eating that takes place in people’s lives is emotionally motivated. Food is often misused as a remedy to self-medicate hurt, lonely and angry feelings. Food is also misused as a vehicle for pleasure. The problem arises when, after years of using food to create fleeting moments of pleasure, one establishes a well-entrenched, knee-jerk reaction to life that leads directly to emotional eating’s front door. This habitual escape route seduces you into its web each time you are confronted with an emotional issue. And, since us humans all tend to be similar, we are all prone to this behavior

The great 18th century English writer Samuel Johnson noticed this years ago. In October of 1750 he wrote, “We are all prompted by the same motives, all deceived by the same fallacies, all animated by hope, obstructed by danger, entangled by desire and seduced by pleasure.” It was true then and it is true now! This “seduction” is the key to why so many people gain weight claiming that they eat simply because they “just love food.” This association with love creates a very seductive and soothing quality to food. This is one of the issues at the very heart of emotional eating.

The more aware you can become of the emotional attachment you have with food, the more likely you are to break this seductive connection with emotional eating. The more you can separate emotion from your eating decisions the more apt you are to choose wisely and get healthy. The solution is to stop being seduced by food and fall in love with healthy living.

There is always a good side.

Everything depends on the way you look at things.
View every problem you encounter as an opportunity.
There is always a good side to every situation.

The optimist sees an opportunity in every misfortune.
The pessimist sees misfortune in every opportunity.
The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole.

You can develop success from every failure.
Discouragement and failure are two stepping stones to
success. No other elements can do so much for you if you're
willing to study them and make them work for you.

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.

Are You a S.A.N.E. Procrastinator?

Sometimes people put off starting or completing tasks
because they are constantly drawn to new activities. One
example is a type of "Super Attention" procrastinator which,
although it seems to vary from person to person, many people
recognize in themselves the minute they hear about it.

Here's how Michelle, president of a successful business,
describes it. "Since I was a kid, I've had this weird
souped-up attention. It would snap into gear and I would
zero in on something that interested me, become very
enthusiastic about it, and not think of or hear or notice
anything else.

If a teacher caught my attention, I couldn't tear myself
away. If I'm reading a terrific book, nothing else in the
world exists. But then, something else would grab me and
take over my full, undivided, super attention and I'd forget
about the first thing. The result was procrastination."

Super Attention can take control of your life. Your Natural
Enthusiasm results in too many projects going at once (none
finished) because halfway through one amazingly interesting
idea, another comes along that is even more interesting.

Your calendar is packed with dates, meetings, get-togethers,
parties and classes you are so enthusiastic about that you
need a nap. The result is a life of excitement, exhilaration
... and exhaustion.

You're usually reading more than one book at a time. You may
have the TV and radio going while you work. In
conversations, you tend to jump quickly from one topic to
another, never finishing any of them. I call this behavior
pattern Super Attention & Natural Enthusiasm. (S.A.N.E.)

Four Signs that You're a S.A.N.E. Procrastinator

1. When you're so engrossed in what you're doing you become
oblivious to what's going on around you.

2. While you are in the middle of one project, you reach for
the phone or start another before completing the first one.

3. Your interest in activities is fleeting. For example,
you're excited about planting vegetables in your garden,
then by harvest time, the thrill is gone so you leave
everything to rot on the vine. Or you have many unfinished
craft and hobby projects around the house (also, sports
equipment and musical instruments which are never used).

4. Your desk or dining room table is covered with clutter
but you know exactly how to find everything in all the
stacks, piles and boxes.

Ironically, many overachievers seem to display signs of
having Super Attention and Natural Enthusiasm, and because
their attention bounces from one thing to another, they
leave lots of projects and plans unfinished.

If you relate to this, you don't have to stifle your
curiosity or enthusiasm for new things in order to complete
the project you've started. But you DO have to select one
project and complete it.

For example, set a timer to focus your efforts on the
present task. Or when you think of a new project or idea
while you're working on something else, let starting the new
project be your reward for completing the present one.

Using these and other anticrastination strategies in The
Procrastinator's Handbook, you'll learn to stick with a task
or to keep track of -- and return to - projects instead of
abandoning them when something else captures your attention.

Problems are a Normal Part of Change

When asked, "How do you develop mental toughness in life?",
my response might sound negative at first when I answer,
"Always be prepared for a surprise. The surprise might be a
negative surprise.

Something is going to happen in your day, whether you are
late because you got stuck behind a train or your car had a
flat tire -- something is going to happen... And the key is
your ability not to take mole hills and look at them as
mountains."

Problems are a normal part of change. Things are changing so
rapidly that there are going to be problems you face. So you
must look at failure as an event, not as a person. I'm not a
failure.

Maybe I've had a failure or a temporary inconvenience. I've
had a stumbling block, and the idea is to turn the stumbling
block into a stepping stone, and step on it instead of
stumble over it. So look at failure as the fertilizer of
success.

Fertilizer stinks, it smells. You see that guy putting it on
his lawn and you say, "Wow, that guy fertilized his lawn."
You fertilize your mistakes. You don't wallow in them, lay
in them, roll in them; you pick yourself up off your
mistakes and learn from them. You try not to repeat that
same thing again. But you look at it as a temporary
inconvenience, as a detour -- a detour in life -- not as a
failure."

Mastering Change: Why Organizational Change Fails

"There is nothing more difficult to take in hand, moreperilous to conduct, or more uncertain in its success than to take the lead in the introduction of a new order of things." -- Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Have you experienced a failed change lately? Been a part of a team or an organization that attempted something different ... and failed?

We've all seen attempts at change bomb. What happens to scuttle well-intentioned effort? The following are some ofthe most common reasons I've identified why organizational change fails. You can use the list for diagnostic purposes, or to prevent mistakes in future attempts at change.

1. Misstarts

A misstart occurs when a change is ill-advised, hastily implemented or attempted without sufficient commitment. Thisis a leadership credibility killer.

2. Making change an option

When leadership commits to a change, the message must be that the change is not an option. But the message that often comes across is "We'd like you to change, we're asking you to change, we implore you to change, please change ..." Whenever people have the option not to change, they won't.

3. A focus only on process

Leaders can get so caught up on planning and managing the process that they don't notice that no tangible results are being achieved. The activity becomes more important than the results.

4. A focus only on results

This stems from a belief that the end justifies any means. Organizations tend to fail miserably in this regard: they downplay or ignore the human pain of change. It is this insensitivity to people's feelings that not only prevents the change but destroys morale and loyalty in the process.

5. Not involving those expected to implement the change

A great deal of resentment is aroused when management announces a change and then mandates the specifics ofimplementation. Employees need to be involved in two ways. First, their input and suggestions should be solicited when planning the change.

Secondly, after a change has been committed to, they should be involved in determining the means. Leadership needs to communicate, "Here's what must happen. How do you think it can best be done?

6. Delegated to "outsiders"

Change is an inside job. Although outsiders like consultants might provide valuable ideas and input, people inside the systems must accept responsibility for the change. Scapegoating and passing the buck are not an option.

7. No change in reward system

If you keep rewarding employees for what they've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. Make sure that rewards, recognition and compensation are adjusted for the desired change.

8. Leadership doesn't walk the talk

For change to happen, everybody involved must buy-in. Leadership, however, must take the first steps. Change is aborted whenever leadership doesn't demonstrate the same commitment they expect from others.

9. Wrong size

In this instance, the change is too massive to be achievable or too small to be significant. Like a good goal, a change program should be neither too easy nor too impossible.

10. No follow-through

The best planning is worthless if not implemented, monitored and carried out. Responsibility must be clearly defined for making sure that follow-through is timely and intense.

Seek Healthy Friendships and Ditch Personal Drainers

Seek Healthy Friendships and Ditch Personal Drainers

Daily Inspiration
By Dr. John H. Sklare
Tuesday, May 9, 2006

One of the most damaging assaults on your desire to create healthy lifestyle changes is non-support from those around you. And worse than non-support is outright sabotage. If you are serious about change and ready to embrace a healthier lifestyle, sometimes you have to be mindful about those people you keep company with and allow into your new life. Simply put, if you spend most of your time with people who don’t care about the shape of their bodies and the state of their health, you put yourself in a very tenuous position. As that old saying so aptly states, “Birds of a feather flock together!”

People who don’t support your desire to get fit and healthy typically become the weak link in your new lifestyle chain. If you really want to create the healthy lifestyle changes you dream about, surround yourself with other like-minded people. Those who interfere or outright sabotage your efforts for healthy change can deplete your emotional batteries, seduce you back into old unhealthy habits and steer you away from the road less traveled. In the spirit of Personal Trainers, I call these people Personal Drainers!

If you are really serious about creating healthy lifestyle changes, I suggest you do a little inventory regarding those people you keep around you. Create a list of all those people with whom you interact with regularly and then put a notation next to each regarding whether they help or hinder your efforts. I then suggest that you approach each of those who are helpful and personally thank them for their support. Regarding those Personal Drainers in your life, depending on your relationship with them, I would further suggest you minimize or eliminate your exposure to these people. Psychology teaches us to reinforce behaviors you want repeated and ignore behaviors you want eliminated. The fewer Personal Drainers you have in your world, the more likely you are to get fit and healthy and reach your goal. Those people who you keep around you and interact with on a regular basis are key characters in your new life story and play significant roles in your wellness journey. Choose your friends wisely and beware of Personal Drainers!

Discipline

It's funny. I always believed the word "discipline" meantbeing confined and constricted. Being the rebellious andresistant person I was these were not experiences I wantedto have.

Why would I be disciplined if I thought it meant I would beconfined to a regimen or that it would somehow constrict me? It's funny. Even though I held the belief that disciplinewas constricting; the thing that continually impressed memost about so many people I admired was their personal discipline to reach their dreams.

I wondered why I admired it in others so much? They do what needs to be done in the face of adversity and have the discipline to keep on moving forward no matter what. Athletes, entertainers, politicians and writers are common examples of people who demonstrate discipline in their lives.

Look at the people you admire whether they are well known or not. Take note and see if you admire them because they are disciplined and have the ability to "bounce back". It's funny. I've discovered that being disciplined in life has very little to do with my moods. It really doesn't matter whether I don't "feel" like doing something at the time. What I realize is that what matters most is; discipline is a choice. It's not based on my momentary mood or emotional state. My mood or any fear or doubt that might creep in out of habit or outside circumstances have no real effect on whether I'm disciplined or not. I've decided to do something for a reason and so I will do it because of that choice.

It's funny. Being disciplined actually has little to do withthe limiting belief I've been holding on to. Once I decided to investigate my own belief I can see how untrue it is. It doesn't hold up under close scrutiny. I discovered that discipline is actually the opposite of the illusion I once held. It is actually the road to freedom and self-expansion. When I am disciplined I feel better about my behavior, my actions and about myself. This inner strength becomes more important than any obstacle I might encounter. If discipline is a challenge for you, here are some suggestions to build and maintain it:

1. Investigate your belief. What does the word "discipline"mean to you? If you discover any limiting beliefs take a closer look and see if they are really true.

2. You are more disciplined than you think. Everyone is disciplined at something; even if it's sitting on the couch and watching television! Now you can turn your ability to be disciplined toward something else. Pick one thing and do it; then pick a second thing and do that. Before long you will discover that you are creating the habit of discipline.

3. Begin Small. If discipline is a challenge for you it isimportant to begin with small doable steps first. Begin withmaking a phone call, sending an email or writing a letter. You may want to identify 10 people you want to contact for your business and complete that list today. It's all do-able ... just begin!

4. Celebrate Your Successes! One of the things I ask my clients is to celebrate their successes every day. Don't wait for a "large" success; celebrate every success you haveeach day. You can do this by identifying 3 things you feel good about and write them in a journal each day. Celebrate the fact that they make you and others feel good!

How to Uncover Your Quality Reasons

Here's the real kicker about my meeting with those twenty-five men and women - each and every one of them had the answers they needed inside of them.

The problem isn't that you don't have the type of motivators you need to succeed, it's that you haven't brought them to the surface. That's about to change.

Take one of your goals in mind and answer the following questions with as much detail and emotion as possible. Remember, the more powerful your reasons for wanting to achieve the goal, the more you'll be motivated to take action and get what you want.

1. What will achieving your goal do for you physically?Mentally? Emotionally? Financially? Spiritually?

2. What will you think of yourself years from now if you achieve your goal?

3. What will failing to achieve your goal cost you physically? Mentally? Emotionally? Financially? Spiritually?

4. How will failing to achieve your goal negatively affect your friends and family? What will it cost them in the long run?

5. What will you think of yourself years from now if younever achieve your goal?

This short list of questions should be enough to get you started on the right path. All of your goals require this type of questioning. Without it, you'll quickly let habit and routine run the show and fall far short of what is possible in your life.

~ What Happens Next ~

When you answer this line of questioning with your goals you'll finally enjoy the limitless motivation you need to change your life for the better. Every time you encounter an obstacle and you feel like you can't go on, revisit your reasons and you'll have the leverage you need to proceed.

We all deal with moments of indecision and weakness. We know we should do one thing but we have an urge to doanother. While the majority of people will give in to their temptations and regret it later, you will have the secret to staying the course day in and day out.

If you have a group of goals or dreams that you'd like toachieve, or even if you only know that you want something better, there is a resource available that can give you every tool you need to get and stay motivated to change your life.

The Motivated Mind is our latest book at Motivation123. It will teach you the six keys to mastering motivation and give you a skill that you will utilize for the rest of your life.

Just imagine what your life could be like if you knew how to get motivated to achieve your goals ever day. It's an exciting thought. You don't have to imagine it any longer. Take a few minutes to learn about The Motivated Mind andyou'll have the secrets you need to take complete control of life's most powerful force.

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life

Daily Inspiration
By Dr. John H. Sklare
Monday, May 1, 2006

Thought reframing is the conscious and mindful act of taking some difficult, upsetting or frustrating situation, thought or emotional state and changing the way you look at it. Since your thoughts are what create your emotional states, changing your thoughts will change those emotional states. It’s a conscious method of manipulating your thoughts as a way of changing how you feel. In laymen’s terms, I guess you could say it provides a way to look for the silver lining that lies just beneath the surface of every dark cloud.

For those of you who struggle with negative thoughts and self-defeating attitudes, this is the Yellow Brick Road to OZ. If you think of each brick in your Yellow Brick Road to wellness as a healthy decision, you can begin to see the value of making each decision count. Thought reframing is a cognitive strategy that provides a strategy for you to add more bricks to your Yellow Brick Road.

Changing negative situations into positive experiences is not an easy task. I don’t mean to oversimplify this but I do want to emphasize the incredible change you can initiate if you aggressively pursue changing your way of thinking. Change your thinking, change your life. This is the basic principle upon which mind/body medicine is founded.