Life’s Keys to Happiness

Life’s Keys to Happiness

Saturday, October 15, 2005

“Don’t worry, be happy” is an excellent reminder to always seek happiness, but the song may not be completely realistic in every life situation. Worrying is a part of life and happiness is not something you can pull out of a hat. While others undoubtedly can play a role in your happiness, ultimately, it’s up to you to create it for yourself. Happiness is within close reach when you recognize and apply these universal ingredients. Unlock life’s keys to happiness today …

Have a sense of humor: The ability to seek and find humor and laughter in any given situation is a gift you give yourself, but one that takes work. Let’s face it – life is funny with all of its quirks and contradictions, but it may not always seem so funny when you encounter a tough situation. However, the ability to gain a new perspective on a bad situation through humor is a real testament to our character. Look for the humor in everything and use it to gain new perspectives, to reduce stress and to make others smile.

Learn: Learning doesn’t end after you’re finished with high school or college. Life seems to be one long lesson plan of learning from the life experience lessons of the real world. The key to always learning is to not be opposed to it. When you’re open to new ideas, you’re exercising and enriching your mind. When you don’t learn from both a positive or negative situation, there’s no self-growth. Learning may be accidental or sought after, but as long as you’re learning, you’re gaining knowledge of the world around you and a better understanding of yourself – and this can all contribute to your happiness.

Show resilience: Learning and resilience go hand in hand because we learn from life experiences we encounter and then we must move on. This ability to bounce back is called resilience, and believe it or not, the human spirit is more resilient than we might tend to believe. Resilience means living in the present the best you know how, even in the face of anger, hurt, or sadness, and taking whichever hands you’re dealt and turning them into a learning experience. When you live in the past, you miss the joys of being in the moment. While it’s true that you’re shaped by your experiences, the key to being resilient is to not let the negative experiences paralyze you.

Courage: Life is scary. We never know what comes next or what direction we should take, especially when it comes to relationships, jobs or achieving our dreams. But sometimes that can be a truly freeing concept. Nothing is certain, so take risks. If you fail, you’ll know that happiness is still possible because you’ll learn from the situation and bounce right back. And if you succeed, your sense of accomplishment is twice as gratifying because you looked uncertainty in the eye and answered back with courage and faith. Without courage to face your fears or the possibility of rejection, you’ll become stagnant and you’ll limit yourself in opportunities for self-growth.

Find meaning and purpose: What makes you tick, your heart dance with joy, you smile? What are you doing that satisfies yourself and others? Ask yourself why you are living. It may seem like a silly question, but shouldn’t there be a reason for living other than to pay taxes and grow old? It usually takes a while to find meaning and purpose in your life, and this usually happens through the accumulations of our life experiences. When you find your meaning and purpose in life and you pursue it and sustain it, you’ll really understand what it means to be “living.”

Work toward your health: Intact mental and physical health allows for many possibilities in your life. Health and happiness are obviously interconnected because it’s difficult to feel happy when your body tells you otherwise. Unfortunately, not all of us are blessed with good health, no matter how much we take care of our bodies. So when you are blessed with good health, don’t take it for granted. Don’t settle when you’re at a certain healthy level either. Working for your health is an ongoing, lifelong process.

Happiness isn’t guaranteed in life. You have to make it happen for yourself. And with these keys to happiness, we bet you’ll be well on your way to finding long-lasting happiness.

Journaling

Journaling

Journals and diaries have always been reliable confidantes and sounding boards for youngsters. But contrary to popular belief, journaling isn’t just for angst-ridden teens and hyperactive ‘tweens anymore. Many adults are picking up a pen and piece of paper – or even clicking their way to a free "blogging" or online journal service – and chronicling and reflecting upon their lives in the substantive form of journaling. Read on to find out just how rewarding keeping a journal can be for young and old alike …

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” -Socrates

Your mind is crowded with a million thoughts a day and rarely do you get to sort through them. So why not take out a pen and piece of paper and write them down? Journaling is not only incredibly therapeutic, but can be rewarding when your thoughts turn into goals that eventually come to fruition. There’s just something about writing down your thoughts in a solid, permanent form. So grab a notebook and your favorite pen and start writing!

For Meaning
Life seems simpler on paper. Think about it. When you read your favorite book or poem, does the author describe things in such a succinct way that you feel like you’re a part of the story? When you become the author of your own life’s story, you can really start to connect with what you’re writing about. Your words become powerful conveyors of emotion and writing your thoughts down can give you a new perspective.

For Thanks
Use your journal to write down something that you’re thankful for everyday. Whether it’s for the friendly service at the grocery store or your children being healthy, acknowledging that you’re thankful for the all good things in life can keep you grounded and can bring even more meaning to your life.

For Setting Goals
You probably get many ideas passing through your head daily, but they become just that – passing. By keeping a journal around, you can record those ideas as they pop into your head. If your ideas turn into goals, you’ll have a better visual and constant reminder about where you want to go with them. Plus, having your goals in writing creates motivation to follow through with the commitment. If you’re continuously writing down the same goals daily without any progress toward achieving them, it may mean that you’re not doing enough to achieve your goals. Your journal can serve as a reminder and a cheerleader.

For Reducing Stress
Journaling reduces stress because the paper acts as an ear to verbalize any problems, frustrations or thoughts. Even though the paper doesn’t talk back, you will still feel better getting everything out of your brain and onto paper because writing is cathartic.

For Future Reference
Journaling can be like scrap booking or videotaping. Whatever you write down becomes your sort of autobiography that you can store away on your bookshelves. Re-reading journals can give you insight into what you were feeling at a certain time in your life and can also be a testament to how much you have grown and learned. You can also give the gift of your words to someone important. Keep a journal of your experiences with your children when they’re young and when they become old enough, you can share their childhood with them through your eyes.

For Weight Loss
A journal is a fantastic tool to incorporate into your weight loss program, especially if you’re an emotional eater and need to figure out how you’re feeling when you’re overeating or overindulging in the not so healthy foods. Start by getting a journal and recording everything you eat each day so that you can actually see your caloric intake. Then after you eat something, record how you were feeling at that very moment. If you do this with all of the food you eat, you might see a pattern develop. By keeping a food journal, you can develop the habit of conscious eating and you’ll understand if something else is driving your bad eating habits.

For Yourself
After a long, hectic day full of meetings, phone calls or chasing after little ones, a moment to yourself might be needed for sanity’s sake. Journaling is a form of meditation and a time for reflection. It’s a great way to spend time with yourself because you can really delve into your thoughts, feelings and observations of the day. Journaling may be your one time during the day where you can seek clarity and peace of mind.

Journaling doesn’t have be in “Dear Diary” form. You’re free to express yourself with whatever way feels most natural to you. If you’re a poet, put your thoughts in poem form, and if you’re an artist, take your paintbrush to the paper or canvas. It’s your journal. So start journaling and watch how your state of mind positively benefits.

How to Heal a Broken Heart

How to Heal a Broken Heart

Whoever wrote the lyrics to “Breaking up is hard to do” was right on the money. Unfortunately, the odds are not in your favor when it comes to experiencing a breakup. In fact, most of us will experience a heart-breaking breakup sometime in our lives. And although no one can fully prepare you for a breakup and there are few words that can cure the pain you’ll feel, we still believe that advice goes a long way. With a little bit of know-how, and an understanding of the stages you’ll go through with a breakup, you can be confident that your heart will eventually heal ...

Five Stages of Healing
The emotions that we go through (also called the five stages of grief) are just as relevant to a breakup as they are to experiencing a death of a loved one because both can be incredibly painful experiences. While you may not go through these stages in order, it’s natural and healthy to go through them at some point.

Denial: You deny the breakup has happened and isolate yourself from your loved ones. To help get through this stage, accept what has happened and don’t be afraid to ask for help and support from those who love you and are there for you.

Anger: You become angry with your ex and maybe even with yourself for the cause or circumstances of the breakup. To help deal with your anger, write a letter addressed to your ex (without the intention of giving it to him or her), and really get down and dirty with your feelings, letting it all out. Then, put it aside and come back to it another day, reread it once, then toss it. If you prefer another method, try keeping a journal of your feelings. Writing can be incredibly therapeutic.

Bargaining: You bargain with your ex to take you back, telling him or her that you were wrong, what changes you’ll make, and so on. Or, you get others involved in trying to get them back. This stage often involves irrational actions such as contacting them no matter how trivial the reason.

Depression: You might still have those feelings of anger, sadness and guilt, and they begin to manifest into depression. Suddenly, you lose control of your emotions and your life. If you find yourself stuck in this stage for too long, it’s not healthy and you may want to seek help.

Acceptance: You come to terms with the breakup, and you no longer feel anger or deep sadness. While thinking about your ex is still normal, you’re able to move on with your life to be productive and emotionally healthy again.

Avoid Getting in Contact
While you’re in the bargaining stage of grieving the demise of a relationship, you may try to get in touch with your ex. There are two reasons why calling, emailing or visiting their house is a BAD idea. First, many people convince themselves that the other person is thinking about them just as much as they’re thinking about the other person. But just in case they aren’t, you don’t want to look desperate and not in control of the situation. Second, the more contact you have with that person, the less likely you will be able to move on. Every time you write to them, talk to them or visit their house, you’re taking a step back instead of forward. It’s difficult to fight the urge to get in contact with your ex, but you have to resist it. This means no making up excuses to see them (I have to get back my one sock back or I know they’ll be at that party on Saturday night). Late night calls are often the result of being emotionally tired, so remember that tomorrow is a brand new day that offers new opportunities and hope. Call your friends to talk to instead.

Shake it Up Socially
When you have a significant other, a lot of your individuality as people can get lost in what becomes your definition as a couple. After a breakup, it may seem more difficult to regain your individuality, especially when everything seems to be connected to your relationship. To regain your individuality and put faith back into what you can offer, do something you’ve always wanted to do. Sign up for a new exercise class, join a club or do volunteer work. Avoid the social scene that you and your ex shared. Be open to meeting new people, even the opposite sex, but only proceed to a new relationship if you’re sure you’ve healed yourself from the old relationship. Take some time for yourself and enjoy you for you.

Digest and Learn
To be able to move on, it’s healthy to be able to fully digest what happened that turned the relationship sour. Identify the reasons that contributed to the breakup, what role you played in those reasons and what you can do differently in the future for a successful relationship. Don’t be too hard on yourself or hard on anyone else for that matter. You learn with every experience in life, and breakups are no different.

Two quotes come into mind when it comes to healing a broken heart: “Time heals all wounds” and “Where one door closes, another one opens.” While you may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel now, we guarantee that the day will come when you’ll know that your broken heart has officially healed.