Balance

Being off balance for just a few moments can be exhilarating. Some instances that come to mind are when we first realize we're falling in love, when we receive great praise from someone we admire or respect, or even when we enjoy a roller coaster ride at an amusement park.

Being off balance for longer than a few moments can be dangerous. Dangerous to our physical health, our relationships and our careers. To keep your life in balance, it's critical that you set goals in all areas that are truly important to you and stick to achieving them. Goal setting helps you to get and stay focused.

A well-lived life is a balancing act. If you're out of balance, it will show in your demeanor. You'll not handle personal and business situations to the best of your ability and that will have a negative affect on your bottom line and enjoyment of life.

Don't risk it! Take a few moments each day to consider where your life may be out of balance. Then set a goal to even things out ... starting immediately.

Who's Going To Do It?

Years ago, my granddad told me the story about four brothers
who decided to have a party to celebrate a new business
venture. Since wine is rather expensive, they agreed that
each one would bring an equal quantity and mix it together
in a large serving bowl.

One of the brothers thought he might escape making his
contribution by bringing water instead of wine. "It won't be
noticed in the common bowl," he reasoned.

But when, at the party, the wine was poured out, it turned
out not to be wine at all, but plain water. All four
brothers had thought alike - cheap. Each one had thought,
"Let the other do it."

My granddad was teaching me that you cannot let someone else
dictate your life. "This is a lesson in responsibility," he
said. "You're going to have to be responsible for your
choices and decisions. Either that or turn your life over to
someone else who might not have your best interest in mind."

Over the years, I've thought many times about how true that
is.

- You have to be responsible for your finances.

- You have to be responsible for your health (mental &
physical)

- You have to be responsible for where you are in your
career

- You have to be responsible for the quality of people you
hang around

- You have to be responsible for all your choices - past,
present and future

If you're not happy with any area of your life, you are
responsible for fixing it. Step up - starting now!

- MV

Know Your Innate, Natural Talents

You have all you need to make your life work. Look to your
natural talents to guide you in life. You know, those things
you do so well that you don't even have to think about it.
It is those abilities that come naturally to you that will
help you build your confidence in other areas of your life.

Begin with your strengths! Too many times people focus on
what they need to work on -- their weaknesses. And get
burned out. How much better it is to begin with your talent.
Your God-given talents can give you the courage to bridge
over to the areas you need work on.

Do you even know your innate talents? Can you name seven of
them in less than a minute? Try it. Take a minute right now
to list seven innate abilities you have.

I bet if I asked you to name seven things about you that you
need to improve, you would come up with all seven in
seconds! What's wrong with this picture?

Rethink how you think! Okay. Now, write down seven one-word
positives about you. What are you just naturally good at?
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.

Are you using those talents every day -- in work, at home,
in your relationships? If not, why not? You are missing out
on a powerful process of building courage, cultivating faith
and conquering fear!

Know Your Innate, Natural Talents and Use Them Every Day!

Have a great day!
Merina

Life would be easy if it weren't for difficult people.

Go on, it's okay. Admit it! We all know that life would be a
whole lot easier if we didn't have to deal with those few
(or many) difficult people we just can't seem to avoid. I
think you know who I'm talking about.

What's not okay is to give up something you need, want or
deserve because of their rude, obnoxious, sullen, and
apathetic habits. Yes, I do mean "habits".

If you're tired of playing their game, take charge of your
life by taking a good look at yourself! You can not change
them, but you can change what you do and how you act around
them - and ultimately how they affect your life.

The Good News... and the Bad News

Difficult people have been trained and taught to act the way
they do since they were children. In fact, they have been
rewarded for their negative behavior throughout their entire
lives. Difficult behavior worked for them as children - and
more important, it continues to work for them as adults.

I believe that most of us are born with the capacity and
desire to love and be loved. As we grow, we learn to respond
to verbal and visual cues and we begin to adjust our
behavior to obtain the positive responses we want. Children
who can manipulate their parents soon learn to enjoy
feelings of power and control over others.

The game of life is basically about "getting our needs met."
And you certainly do play a part! We reward difficult people
by giving in to their needs. Think about it. If someone's
behavior is consistently inappropriate or unacceptable
toward you, ask yourself if in any way you are rewarding
their negative behavior.

For example, Helen gets upset every time Harry mentions that
he wants to play golf. Rather than face a 2-hour lecture he
usually finds it easier to just stay home. One day, however,
he gets angry and accuses her of being a nag who never
understands him.

Instead of answering back, Helen gets her feelings hurt,
stomps off and gives him the silent treatment. Harry takes
advantage of her "cold shoulder" and plays a few holes of
golf!

Jennifer wins the same "reward" at her new school. Few of
the kids would talk to her and some were even making fun of
her. She asked to stay in during recess, but the teacher
said no. Eventually she gets into a fight and pushes another
girl down.

The teacher tells Jennifer that fighting is against the
rules and she will have to stay inside. What did Jennifer
learn? Ask the teacher respectfully and you will not get
what you want. Push someone and you can avoid recess!

We have three choices each time we respond to another
person: 1. Be positive; 2. Be negative; and 3. Avoid or
ignore them. Difficult people see avoidance as a positive
response. When we ignore unacceptable, inappropriate
behavior, it will usually happen again because our avoidance
tells the difficult person that we are willing to accept
their behavior.

What do they really want?

Difficult people want to do their own thing, in their own
time, in their own way, without interference. In addition,
they expect everyone around them to cooperate - even work
extra hard - to ensure that this happens. And they do not
see anything unreasonable about these expectations.

There is little in their experience to signal them that
their actions are inappropriate. They also have little (if
any) desire or motivation to change their habits.

What can I do about it?

We learn a lot from difficult people. We tolerate their
behavior and attitudes as "part of life." We hold back our
feelings and swallow our words. We make concessions even
when we do not receive anything in return.

We compromise even when it is 90/10 instead of 50/50. We may
even question our own ability to relate and communicate with
others reasoning that "Maybe it's me."

Since we cannot change difficult people, we can only change
our selves and our reactions to their behavior. They need
our cooperation and our permission to intimidate, control
and repeatedly manipulate us to get their way. In most
relationships, we are treated exactly the way we allow
ourselves to be treated.

The good news is that because we are partly responsible
there is something we can do to create and maintain
relationships where we are treated respectfully. That's
great news! By focusing on our selves and the changes we can
make in our own behaviors and reactions, we can begin to
take control of how other people treat us - today!

Take Action!

Think about two difficult people in your life.
Identify the behaviors of these difficult people.
Ask yourself if you could possibly be rewarding these
difficult people.

Would they describe you as the difficult person? If so, what
would they say?

Gathas for Mindfulness - Buddhism

Gathas for Mindfulness
Every activity -- waking, driving, even flushing the toilet -- is an opportunity for mindfulness practice.

By Andrew Weiss
Excerpted from "Beginning Mindfulness: Learning the Way of Awareness" by Andrew Weiss. Published by New World Library.

Gathas are small poems designed to help us in meditation practice, whether we are sitting, walking, or slicing potatoes. A gatha accomplishes several aims: It occupies our thinking; it sets a direction for our practice at that moment; and, if used correctly, it helps us to be mindful of our breathing.

...

Unlike a mantra, which is the same for all occasions, we can have specific gathas for specific activities. We can have gathas for waking up in the morning, for turning on the light, for using the toilet, for turning on the television, for answering the telephone, for driving the car. The list of gathas can be as long as there are activities. For example, here is a gatha for driving a car:

This car is my legs.
It goes where I choose.
When I drive with awareness,
Everyone lives in safety.


If we use this gatha when we get into the car or while we are driving it, we will have an aid to keep our attention on our driving. The gatha also directs our attention to-ward the interbeing nature of ourselves and the car ("This car is my legs"). Each gatha encourages mindfulness and also seeks to awaken us to the true nature of the world as it is contained in that action.
Gathas are best used in coordination with our breath. As we breathe in, we can say the first line to ourselves; as we breathe out, the second line; and so forth. In this way, we touch the act we are performing with the gatha, and we touch our breathing too. As we become more grounded in our breathing, mindfulness of breathing will assist mindfulness of the action, and so breathing, action, and gatha go together. Each reinforces the other, and our ability to be in the moment is increased.


Some people find it difficult to remember an entire gatha. It may be easier and simpler to remember one or two key words from each line, words that will remind you of the rest of the line. For example, here is a gatha for sitting meditation:


Sitting in the present moment,
I breathe mindfully.
Each in-breath nourishes love,
each out-breath, compassion.

Here the key words could be present moment, mindfully, love, and compassion.
What do you do if you are breathing in and you feel anything but love, or your mind is running riot? When using gathas, encourage your true feelings to surface rather than suppressing them. For example, you might be saying, "Each in-breath nourishes love" but thinking, "It certainly does not. I'm tired and miserable!" The gatha is doing its work, pointing you in the direction of being more loving and compassionate toyour aching back while you allow your feelings and thoughts to arise by being fully present.

Here are some gathas for daily use. Notice how each gatha sets a direction for mindfulness. You can make up your own for any activity of which you particularly want to be mindful during your day.

Waking Up
As I wake up, I welcome a new day,
A mindful smile with every breath.
May I live each moment
With compassion and awareness.

First Steps of the Day
As I take my first step,
My foot kisses the floor.
With gratitude to the earth,
I walk in liberation.

Turning on the Water
As I turn on the water,
My body's essence pours before me.
Clouds, oceans, rivers, and deep wells
All support my life.

Washing Dishes
Each dish I wash
Is my most cherished child.
Each movement contains
Boundless love.

Flushing the Toilet
My body's waste is compost.
Down the hopper it goes,
Returning to the earth.

Walking Meditation
My mind can go in a thousand directions.
Now I walk in peace.
Each step creates a warm breeze.
With each step, a lotus blooms.

Sitting Down for Meditation
Sitting in the present moment,
I breathe mindfully.
Each in-breath nourishes love,
Each out-breath, compassion.

Sitting Meditation
Each thought, each feeling
Creates the world.
I hold joy and suffering
Tenderly in each breath.

Calming the Mind
Chasing after the world
Brings chaos.
Allowing it all to come to me
Brings peace.

Turning on the Television
Mind and television
Receive what I choose.
I select well-being
And nourish joy.

Preparing Food
Earth, water, sun, and air,
All live in this food I prepare.
turning on an electric light
Ancient trees, water, and wind
Join my hand to bring light
To this moment.

Problems at Work (by Robert Aitkin, Roshi)
When things fall apart on the job
I vow with all beings
To use this regretful energy
And pick up the pieces with care.

Hugging (by Thich Nhat Hanh)
I am so happy to hug my dear ____ .
I know (s)he is real in my arms.

Going to Sleep (by Robert Aitkin, Roshi)
Falling asleep at last
I vow with all beings
To enjoy the dark and the silence
And rest in the vast unknown.


Copyright 2004 by Andrew Weiss. All rights reserved.

Andrew Weiss teaches mindfulness meditation at the Cambridge Center for Adult Education and at the New England School of Whole Health Education, where he also serves as Dean of Faculty. In 1991 he was ordained a brother in Thich Nhat Hanh's Order of Interbeing, and later founded the Community of Interbeing in Boston and Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Livin' the Moment

Relax ... It's All Goooooood

Posted by David Romanelli
on Tue, Jun 27, 2006, 9:30 am PDT

“When you reach an advanced age and look back over your lifetime, it can seem to have had a consistent order and plan, as though composed by some novelist. Events that when they occurred had seemed accidental and of little moment turn out to have been indispensable factors in the composition of a consistent plot…The whole thing gears together like one big symphony!” -Arthur Schopenhauer

Is your life a daily response to random events with no common theme OR are you part of a beautifully constructed plot? Sometimes we all get too closely connected to the day-to-day bump and grind of life. It's so important to occasionally step back, gain perspective, and dive into the mystery. Here are some techniques and ideas to inspire the plunge:

1. Recognize that whether by master stroke or pure chance, there is great intelligence in the universe.

Fact: A single human cell measuring 1/1,000 of an inch across contains instructions within its DNA that would fill 1,000 books of 600 pages each (Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now)

2. Minimize resistance.

“Nothing on earth can overcome an absolutely non-resistant person.” – Florence Shinn

3. Spend time in nature.

“Genius learns from nature.”- Oscar Wilde

4. Be patient with your struggles and challenges.

“Infinite patience yields immediate results.” –Wayne Dyer

5. Free the mind from daily routines.

“Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free the mind.” –Bob Marley

6. Smile … everything is evolving just as it should.

“Sometimes joy is the source of your smile but sometimes a smile is the source of your joy.” –Thich Nhat Han

Water Aerobics

Water Aerobics are exercises in which the basic principles of aerobics are transferred to water. Music sets the speed and rhythm of exercise movements. The heart rate is monitored before, during, and after exercise. The aerobic cycle of warm up, peak, maintain, taper, and cool down is just as important in the water.

People have been exercising in water for many years. More and more healthcare providers are recommending it. Until very recently, it was most common as a way to rehabilitate the body after an injury. Water aerobics is often used as therapy. It helps strengthen the body while the person is surrounded by the soothing element of water. The body is reintroduced to movement by repeating slow, deliberate exercises. The exercises help mobilize stiffened joints and tone muscles that have not been used much because of the injury or disease. Many conditions can helped by water aerobics. These include:

• rehabilitation after injury
• arthritis, because limbs that are hard to move on land become much more agile in the water
• tight muscles, which become more relaxed in water
• poor heart and lung endurance, which can be improved
• problem knees, which are pounded by gravity when exercising on land
• back problems, which enjoy the support of the water and benefit from the power of water resistance
• pregnancy, as long as the healthcare provider approves

All movements in the water are both supported and resisted by water. Different movements, with different force and speed, are used in the water than on land. Exercising in shallow water gives the person mostly body weight to work with. Moving in chest-to-shoulder-deep water gives almost total water support. This creates a wonderful weightlessness. In water aerobics, the body is the basic piece of exercise equipment. Various movements can increase water support or water resistance. Both beginners and advanced exercisers benefit from the variety in water aerobics. The effort and speed of movements are adjusted to the each person's needs. Added equipment can enhance water resistance or water support. Some similarities between water aerobics and land aerobics are:

• The same degree of muscle firmness can be achieved.
• The same target heart rate can be reached.
• The same level of physical fitness can be accomplished.
Some significant differences in water aerobics include:
• Stress on joints is minimized by water support.
• Muscles are firmed by water resistance.
• Endurance is increased and the heart and lungs are strengthened with slow movement.
• Target heart rates are reached almost effortlessly.
• Those who are obese, pregnant, or have medical problems can exercise easily.
• Age is no barrier because water support enables effortless movements.
How safe is water aerobics?
• As with all physical fitness programs, people should get a healthcare provider's approval before starting. This is in the person's own best interest. Not all programs are safe for all people at all times. Just because a program is in water doesn't guarantee it's safe.
• The impact of jumping up and down is lessened by water support. So there is much less stress on joints like the ankles and feet. These same movements are also much easier on the back, because water support lessens the impact.
• People with arthritis, a bad back, or other problems find it easier to exercise in water than on land. But not all movements are safe while exercising in water. It is important to use common sense. A healthcare provider can advise whether leg lifts and body twisting should be done by someone with back problems.
• Water gives even the heaviest person support, if the water covers at least 75 percent of the body.
• For pregnant women, a new target heart rate must be evaluated by the healthcare provider. The speed of exercises may have to be reduced. The heart rate may have to be kept lower than usual to protect the baby. But movements don't have to be restricted, as long as the woman feels comfortable, and the provider approves.
• Water and air temperature and humidity play an important part in water aerobics. Water or air temperatures above 85 degrees F put a stress on the cardiovascular system. A slower pace is then recommended. Lower water and air temperatures allow for faster movements for a longer period of time. High humidity stresses the entire body, and raises body temperature and heart rate.
• Using exercise equipment in water can be a great aid to physical fitness. But how the body reacts to movements with such tools should be understood before they are used. A safe water aerobics program includes instruction in water exercise skills.